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You want WHAT? Are you CRAZY?

A very cheap car insurance policy is like a tasty beefburger or a funny American sitcom; we've all heard of them, some of us have friends who claim to enjoy them regularly but none of us can actually prove that they really exist. It is all a matter of perception though. My 18-year-old niece thinks that the £400 or so that I pay every year to cover my old Rover 75 is peanuts whilst I remember the days when for 10 shillings and sixpence I could get the insurance and buy the car as well but those days are gone, along with fried spam sandwiches and Hancock's Half Hour. Of course in those days we just bought insurance to cover genuine road accidents, instead of paying for highly inventive whiplash claims, fees to ambulance chasing lawyers and expensive TV ads featuring posh Russian rats and demented, obese opera singers. Still, that is progress for you.

I digress however. Yes, the really cheapest policies are indeed available to that 0.1% of the population who are aged between 50 and 55, drive brand new 1000 cc cars for 500 miles a year at an average speed of 22 miles an hour before locking them into centrally heated garages, and who have had 35 years of driving experience with no accidents or convictions that they have been found out over. Yes, such grey boring people do exist but would we really like to change places with them? The rest of we mere mortals however will have to put up with the best deal that we can get which could not truthfully be described as 'cheap' let alone 'very cheap' but hopefully we are likely to be able to just about afford it without taking out a second mortgage on the house or pawning the family silver.

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